Freeman's Mind： Episode 16-mwvx1MMRXDI.en.srt

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[Subtitles by danielsangeo]

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[metal banging] Man, I'm a VIP, I don't have to take this.

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[tentacles moan]

#400:00:12,234→00:00:13,416

[tentacles moan] Hey, your buddy's dead,

#500:00:13,416→00:00:14,293

[tentacles moan] but I didn't do it,

#600:00:14,293→00:00:15,361

[tentacles moan] so that means you're a witness

#700:00:15,361→00:00:16,903

[tentacles moan] if somebody asks about it later.

#800:00:16,903→00:00:18,018

[metal banging]

#900:00:18,018→00:00:19,744

[metal banging] That guard's just standing there.

#1000:00:19,744→00:00:21,358

[tentacles moan] I don't know why.

#1100:00:21,358→00:00:22,091

[tentacles moan]

#1200:00:22,091→00:00:23,254

[metal banging] Maybe it's his job to guard

#1300:00:23,254→00:00:26,114

the explosives from being eaten by aliens.

#1400:00:26,114→00:00:29,163

All things considered, I think we should let the aliens eat the explosives

#1500:00:29,163→00:00:30,129

[tentacles moan] if they want to.

#1600:00:30,129→00:00:30,972

[tentacles moan]

#1700:00:30,972→00:00:32,564

[tentacles moan] Hah! I flanked you.

#1800:00:32,564→00:00:33,366

[tentacles moan]

#1900:00:33,366→00:00:35,165

[tentacles moan] Well, I'm going to assume that because this

#2000:00:35,165→00:00:36,439

[tentacles moan] is the most dangerous-looking thing

#2100:00:36,439→00:00:37,767

[tentacles moan] I've seen in my life,

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I'm going the right way.

#2300:00:39,411→00:00:41,667

[metal banging] God! Look at how big this thing is!

#2400:00:42,143→00:00:44,204

This is completely unacceptable.

#2500:00:44,204→00:00:45,816

We don't have room for this.

#2600:00:45,816→00:00:46,866

[tentacles moan] That thing's already

#2700:00:46,866→00:00:48,209

[metal banging] half-buried in the floor.

#2800:00:48,209→00:00:49,168

[tentacles moan]

#2900:00:49,168→00:00:51,033

[metal banging] That's right. I bang, you bang,

#3000:00:51,033→00:00:52,303

[metal banging] we all bang together.

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[tentacles moan]

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[tentacles moan] What was that Nietzsche said?

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[tentacles moan] "He who fights drummers

#3400:00:56,750→00:00:57,648

[tentacles moan] "should see to it that

#3500:00:57,648→00:00:58,741

[tentacles moan] "in the process he does not

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[metal banging] "become a drummer?"

#3700:01:00,101→00:01:01,757

[tentacles moan] Or was it "monsters"?

#3800:01:01,757→00:01:03,554

[tentacles moan] I don't know. Same thing, really.

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[tentacles moan]

#4000:01:06,260→00:01:08,342

[tentacles moan] No, it had to be "drummers".

#4100:01:08,342→00:01:11,803

That's a monster and there's no way I'm going to end up look like that thing.

#4200:01:11,803→00:01:14,166

I wonder if Nietzsche was in a band.

#4300:01:14,166→00:01:17,446

I bet he was. I should look him up when I get out of here.

#4400:01:17,446→00:01:19,876

I bet the songs have pretty deep lyrics.

#4500:01:19,876→00:01:21,375

[explosion] Ho!

#4600:01:22,346→00:01:24,086

Huh, twice in a row.

#4700:01:24,086→00:01:26,866

I feel like I should be learning something from this.

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And, of course, the catwalk folds like cardboard,

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but the frigging pipes are fine.

#5000:01:32,064→00:01:39,700

[whistling "The Man on the Flying Trapeze"]

#5100:01:39,700→00:01:40,701

I'm awesome.

#5200:01:42,142→00:01:44,203

Hey, there's that other ledge!

#5300:01:44,203→00:01:47,244

If I had a hang glider, I could've just swooped down here.

#5400:01:47,244→00:01:48,849

And that ledge, too!

#5500:01:48,849→00:01:50,670

That would be sick!

#5600:01:50,670→00:01:51,342

[growls]

#5700:01:51,342→00:01:53,601

This place frustrates me to no end.

#5800:01:54,089→00:01:56,370

I guess the light at the end of the tunnel here is that it should be

#5900:01:56,370→00:01:58,968

pretty easy for me to get a new job now.

#6000:01:58,968→00:02:02,351

Seriously, the military is going to get a hard-on once they realize they have

#6100:02:02,351→00:02:05,269

honest-to-God monsters that big to attack.

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The US is certain to dump boatloads into defense spending

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on top of what we already have.

#6400:02:10,261→00:02:13,529

There's going to be a lot of trickling down to research and development.

#6500:02:13,529→00:02:16,261

Hell, I could be driving a Porsche before the year is out.

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[lock buzzes]

#6700:02:17,619→00:02:18,801

Piece of crap.

#6800:02:19,640→00:02:22,134

I guess the big danger to such massive defense spending

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is that we might end up as a military city-state perpetually at war with aliens.

#7000:02:26,266→00:02:28,071

[zombies grunt] Like "Starship Troopers".

#7100:02:28,071→00:02:29,047

[zombies grunt] What's that noise?

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[zombies grunt]

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[zombies grunt] Oh, someone thinks they're smarter

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[zombies grunt] than me, huh?

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[zombies grunt]

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[zombies grunt] I don't need to dignify this.

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[zombies grunt]

#7800:02:36,703→00:02:38,367

YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A DEGREE!

#7900:02:39,956→00:02:42,849

Actually, your host bodies have degrees around here,

#8000:02:42,849→00:02:44,742

but you're just latching on to that.

#8100:02:44,742→00:02:47,515

That's even worse than one of those online degrees.

#8200:02:47,515→00:02:49,811

You're a parasite in every way.

#8300:02:49,811→00:02:51,483

Oh. Safety bars.

#8400:02:51,483→00:02:54,767

Knowing this place, that means somebody must've fallen in at one point.

#8500:02:55,556→00:02:59,801

And we put up cardboard tubes wrapped in tin foil apparently.

#8600:03:00,870→00:03:03,839

This is so cool, it's just like Super Mario.

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[whistles "Super Mario Bros." theme]

#8800:03:08,356→00:03:09,711

I like Mario.

#8900:03:09,711→00:03:13,008

It's a game that glorifies the fat blue-collar worker.

#9000:03:13,008→00:03:17,033

People will have to learn to appreciate their station in life once I rise to power.

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[whistles underground theme from "Super Mario"]

#9200:03:29,962→00:03:31,836

What is this place?

#9300:03:31,836→00:03:34,236

Oh, I hate forks like this!

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Because I know whichever path I take, it's going to change my life forever.

#9500:03:38,488→00:03:41,033

Okay, did I pick the right one?

#9600:03:42,568→00:03:43,701

I did NOT.

#9700:03:44,499→00:03:45,434

Shit.

#9800:03:46,434→00:03:49,753

Now I'm always going to be 10-seconds behind in life.

#9900:03:49,753→00:03:52,084

That means I may miss meeting my future wife

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or escaping an assassin's bullet.

#10100:03:54,280→00:03:58,061

I'll be without a throne or heir all because of this stupid dungeon.

#10200:03:58,061→00:03:59,479

This is so unfair!

#10300:03:59,479→00:04:01,931

I AM DESTINED FOR GREATNESS!

#10400:04:01,931→00:04:03,467

I'll show everyone...

#10500:04:04,481→00:04:09,699

Y'know, it would make this whole day almost worth it if I found buried treasure here?

#10600:04:09,699→00:04:11,701

I mean, this is the place for it to be.

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Either that, or some bodies.

#10800:04:14,674→00:04:17,163

Oh, cool, I didn't go in circles again.

#10900:04:17,163→00:04:19,787

Okay, going to have to hook my arm here...

#11000:04:20,294→00:04:21,400

There we go.

#11100:04:23,044→00:04:23,467

Yah.

#11200:04:24,155→00:04:27,167

Whoa-whoa-whoa! I'm supposed to be the stalker, not you!

#11300:04:27,167→00:04:28,467

Get off my turf!

#11400:04:29,483→00:04:30,549

Perfect.

#11500:04:30,549→00:04:31,315

I mean, what the hell?

#11600:04:31,315→00:04:34,407

You sneak out of the manhole and somebody's already waiting for you.

#11700:04:34,407→00:04:35,443

Eh, I'm good.

#11800:04:35,443→00:04:38,029

I will say, with as many grenades lying around as I've seen,

#11900:04:38,029→00:04:41,574

I am a little surprised we haven't had a bigger accident before today.

#12000:04:41,574→00:04:42,534

Oh, come on.

#12100:04:45,682→00:04:48,844

Man, when I get a mansion, this is exactly what it'll be like.

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People will knock on the door,

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the butler will answer the door,

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blow them away with a shotgun,

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then close the door.

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And I guess I'll need a couple people to move the bodies

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so they don't rot on the property.

#12800:04:59,382→00:05:02,434

I can't realistically expect the butler to--where am I?

#12900:05:03,145→00:05:06,774

I can't expect the butler to do that by himself without dragging them,

#13000:05:06,774→00:05:08,930

and that would mark up the floors.

#13100:05:08,930→00:05:11,901

And if it was a really fat guy, they might need a hand-trolley.

#13200:05:12,769→00:05:15,101

Yeah, I don't know, there's a lot of planning involved,

#13300:05:15,101→00:05:17,534

I'll just have to take this one step at a time.

#13400:05:18,577→00:05:23,556

This room reminds me of that place in Star Wars where Darth Vader cuts off Luke's hand.

#13500:05:23,556→00:05:25,965

Man, I wish lightsabers were real.

#13600:05:25,965→00:05:28,310

I don't see why you need "the Force"

#13700:05:28,310→00:05:31,420

if you have an energy sword that can cut through anything.

#13800:05:31,420→00:05:33,667

All you need then is a list of demands.

#13900:05:34,098→00:05:36,863

Damn, I was hoping for a maintenance shaft here.

#14000:05:36,863→00:05:37,648

What's this do?

#14100:05:37,648→00:05:38,906

[electricity humming]

#14200:05:38,906→00:05:39,500

Nothing?

#14300:05:40,182→00:05:41,672

There's really no excuse for hav--

#14400:05:41,672→00:05:42,580

[WHOOSH] Urgh...

#14500:05:42,580→00:05:43,300

OW!

#14600:05:44,235→00:05:47,033

JESUS CHRIST! THAT COULD'VE TAKEN MY HEAD OFF!

#14700:05:47,573→00:05:49,500

WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS?!

#14800:05:49,929→00:05:52,543

How are you supposed to turn that on without dying?

#14900:05:52,543→00:05:54,367

How are you even supposed to turn it off?

#15000:05:54,879→00:05:56,534

Is that what all these grenades are for?

#15100:05:57,090→00:06:00,041

I guess I don't have anyone to blame but myself.

#15200:06:00,041→00:06:04,051

You go around pushing enough buttons on heavy machinery and you end up in trouble.

#15300:06:04,051→00:06:06,601

At least there were no witnesses this time.

#15400:06:06,601→00:06:07,915

[wind howls] I mean this is nothing

#15500:06:07,915→00:06:10,404

[wind howls] compared to wood shop back in high school.

#15600:06:10,404→00:06:12,436

[wind howls] I almost got expelled over that.

#15700:06:12,436→00:06:13,652

[wind howls] [lock buzzes]

#15800:06:13,652→00:06:14,198

[wind howls] What?

#15900:06:14,198→00:06:15,180

[wind howls]

#16000:06:15,180→00:06:16,794

[wind howls] ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

#16100:06:16,794→00:06:18,467

[wind howls] YOU CAN'T OPEN THIS FROM THE INSIDE

#16200:06:18,467→00:06:20,690

[wind howls] AND IT AUTOMATICALLY SHUTS?!

#16300:06:20,690→00:06:22,406

[wind howls] [growls]

#16400:06:22,406→00:06:23,805

[wind howls] I think there needs to be a sign

#16500:06:23,805→00:06:24,927

[wind howls] on the outside that says

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[wind howls] "Please prop the door or else

#16700:06:26,176→00:06:27,732

[wind howls] "you'll die a slow death."

#16800:06:27,732→00:06:31,084

[wind howls]

#16900:06:31,084→00:06:32,975

[wind howls] I wonder if the aliens are edible.

#17000:06:32,975→00:06:37,500

[wind howls]